Hi eriditus, I see you have found my site. This site contains all of my most secret thoughts so yeah, I am going to regret this real bad. So what is this site? Well, it is my blog, which I will try to update daily or at least bi-daily. Whatever you do Eriditus, do not tell anyone what you see here, especially me, as it will cause me to plunge into a state of irriversable depression. To everyone else, enjoy reading about my miserable life!

May 11, 2018

Alright so in order to understand my daily thoughts and struggles you should know these secrets. It's kinda hard to write this down, these are my best kept secrets, literally only I know this.
Okay, so I have a crush on Jerry [to everyone who does not know me I am male]. I don't know if I am gay or what, I think I might be.

This might suprise you Eriditus, I used to be suicidal, I'm not kidding. And do you know what caused it? Christianity, thats right. You want to know why I am Atheist? I was afraid, I thought that God was going to send me to hell, I am not ready to say why but that was the worst time of my life. I was so paranoid, I had this irrational fear that God was punishing me by showing everyone my thoughts. I didn't feel like I was living, or dead, somewhere in between. You will never feel as depressed as I was, I was so scared of what God would do to me, and I could not change it. And do you know what made me better? What stopped me from ending it all? Haha it was realizing that God was a complete fake. I felt so much better, so much happier.

I still struggle with depression sometimes.

Sometimes I feel crazy, insane. Actually this is a very big problem that I often deal with.

add me on torchat is you want to talk. unaw4b72tgle2uc

Well, there you have it. Most of my most secret secrets. Yeah I have more that are even worse